Imagine…a little girl on the first day of her school – two
pony tails adorning her head, a bag on her back, running incessantly through
the school corridors, panting, scared, slightly confused, tears rolling down
her cheeks….looking around for something…with eyes full of hope perhaps
expecting to find a lost treasure somewhere. She is too shy to ask the
strangers around her for help- some of them her new classmates and teachers…Secretly
hoping someone to come to her rescue and help find the lost water-bottle!
Ladies and gentlemen, this was me more than two decades ago –
I had lost my new bottle on the first day but couldn’t come to speak to anyone
about it– shy, demure, reserved, scared to speak up, uncomfortable in public
settings, cozy in my own shell. In-fact most of the subsequent years, I didn’t
change much. Even as an adolescent I was
this unilateral, academics focused girl rarely willing to come out of my space
of books– mostly the quiet and studious kind. I found my retreat to the books
most comforting as that meant I could live with my shyness and conceal my
social anxiety from others. Thus I was able to score decent marks and my
parents were more than happy about it- it was all that mattered! I was
contented too – almost a celebrity in the neighborhood…I took great pride in
that status.
But then like a bolt from the blue came the first big realization
of what I was missing out on. When I joined engineering I met so many people
from different places across the country. They were smart, confident, socially
confident …not an iota of shyness in whatever they did. There were times when I envied those who could
easily slide into conversations, make small talks when I didn’t seem to be able
to and used their slimmest connections with mere passing acquaintances to
develop business or learn interesting stuff that I totally missed out on. All
this talking, this rather liquid confessing was something I didn’t think I could
ever bring myself to do.
“…because I rant not, neither rave of what I feel, can you
be so shallow as to dream that I feel nothing?”
Nevertheless it was evident that my shyness had ruined so
many good opportunities! The important thing was, it significantly affected
people’s perception about me - and I could sense that well. With each passing
day my desire to come out of my shell grew more and more intense. I decided to
turn things around for the better.
I began forcing myself beyond my comfort zone. Ensuring I
attended as many public events as I could, whether it was a formal GD session,
an informal discussion with friends, an outing with a large group – I was there
every single time. And that did help. By the time I passed out of engineering I
was much better off and reasonably comfortable in a social setting.
My tryst with global diversity was the next big thing that
helped me in this regard. Through a three months' long work orientation in New
York I had the opportunity to get trained with people from across the globe. The
exposure that I got in the classrooms there was remarkable! Especially, when studying
in an environment with a tremendous focus on group exercises, discussions, case
studies and brain storming sessions with people from a wide range of background
and ethnicities, it took me to a new comfort level with regards to social
exposure.
By the time I came back, I had completely turned myself
around from being the demure little school-girl to a more outgoing kind.
I was now a great fan of socializing. I grew fond of hosting
parties or joining others on theirs, going on treks with a host of folks,
participating in group events like the
Oxfam 100 Km Trailwalker , enrolling in
different extra-curricular like dance, public speaking, community work. I
was more than happy being with and around people.
I strongly believe that Toastmasters is the next big step in my journey towards self enrichment!
Thank you!
